I AM pregnant....so?

I'm nearing my 4th month now and I'm very much excited to see the change that has occurred to my baby since my last ultrasound. Being able to face a big mirror when you wake up and see your tummy's reflection each day snaps me back to reality that I AM pregnant... Really...That's how I feel for reasons I do not know. It seems to me that my tummy is getting way bigger than it used to a few weeks ago. Considering that I cant barely hide it. No style of clothing could hide such a protruding tummy. :) I was shocked to find my belly-button somehow looking like it wants to go out of my tummy! My baby inside must have wanted all the space he/she wants. Haha. Well, I cant argue with that. Could I? But well...Knowing that my baby is okay, it all doesn't seem that bad to be loosing all our figure and curves and firm skin and light weight...and all that. Somehow you just wonder at the thought that these are all temporary and that what's more important is the growing baby inside. But.. I cant sometimes tend to that positive feeling. Most pregnant women like me would agree that pregnancy brings about a lot of mood swings that makes you disoriented for quite some time...You feel all the possible negative things.. And what's worse? Everyone would start telling you that its wrong and that the baby would get affected.. So here you go distracting yourself like seemingly imagining that you never had that emotion and that you are blissful and all.. Hahaha. It works for me though. Letting it all out as if I'm not pregnant and then go back to composing myself like nothing happened. So if you are one pregnant woman like me, never hesitate to feel all your emotions.. It's better rather than hiding them all inside. But do remember to stop. Know you're baby's at stake. So what if I'm pregnant? I am still human.. :)

(Hate-Hate) Tummy Relationship

"I, for one, have had a hate-hate relationship with my tummy my entire life. There has been no love present between us ever. In fact, I had come to believe that all of the bad things in my life were, in fact, caused by it. "Because of you," I would say to my tummy, "I am unloveable." I am less than. I am an untouchable. My life just made more sense as a pregnant woman. The amount of food I consume normally is justifiable when I am pregnant. People would watch me reach for a second helping of ice cream, would nod in approval and exclaim, "You're eating for two now, so go for it!," And speaking of food, cravings are totally cool, too. It's perfectly acceptable to drive to Taco Bell at 2:00am when you're pregnant. Not so much when you're not. The transformation was instant. I was now allowed to have a belly. Oh, man, how I embraced this. I would sit with my hands crossed over my round stomach, as pregnant women do, and feel the freedom of being able to draw attention to this part of my body that I have loathed and hidden and hated for so long. I would rub the surface of it, feel such tenderness for it, for what it held inside. And while so many expectant women hate it when people reach out and touch their belly, I found this to be, by far, the best part about being pregnant. I absolutely loved it. Or maybe I should say my tummy loved it, for it was the first time in her life that she ever experienced such gentle, loving touch. She was the center of attention, in a good way for once. People were drawn to her, longed to be close to her, to touch her and draw from her the goodness that she held within her. Bright, happy faces would surround her and tell her that she was beautiful, that she was loved, that she was a miracle. I know that I should be able to tell her- or myself- all of this when I am not pregnant, but I just don't buy it. I don't believe it. Instead, I tell her- my tummy- that she is disgusting and horrible and the reason for all of my pain. I tell her that I wish she didn't exist, that I would like to have her removed from my life, and that without her I would be happy. Who wants to hear that? I have heard it, from past lovers and brothers and strangers, even. And it sucks to hear it. It's actually quite devastating. And yet, I say it to myself every day, over and over and over again. So I've decided to take my tummy and me to therapy, as if we were some old, married couple who have lived a lifetime together in misery, to see if we can learn how to love one another again. I plan to write about it here, but it scares me to do so, as if I am forcing myself to get undressed in front of the classroom. But I feel compelled to share my journey, my conversation with my body, no matter how ugly and lumpy and awkward it may be. And maybe as I do so I will look around and find bright, happy faces telling me that I am a miracle."
-quoted from a woman who was pregnant

can't wear my jeans anymore!

Oh c'mon... One of the last things I would want to give up are my jeans! :(

They're like easy to top with any blouse or shirt and you're good to go. But having a bump in front - you have to wear those that don't go too fit along your tummy. But good thing there are maternity jeans made, I've been going around the malls to buy clothes yet I just don't know where to find those specially made jeans as of the moment.. Sigh..

I'm hungry!

One sad thing about being pregnant is that you can't get everything you want. Not all the food you want to eat. :( Especially now that I'm under medication and under a low fat diet. Sheeesh..

THREE BLIND MICE

Three blind mice,
Three blind mice
See how they run,
See how they run!

They all ran after
The farmer's wife
She cut off their tails
With a carving knife
Did you ever see
Such a sight in your life
As three blind mice?

What's my rule again? DO NOT ARGUE WITH A PREGNANT WOMAN. So, if you hear any pregnant woman singing songs like this... hahah.. (like me!)

Just a tip, keep silent.

How EVIL can a pregnant woman get?! ahahaha

I woke up feeling bad about the world today. And...I don't know why. I have a lot of reasons in my mind but I just can't pinpoint one to say the least. It's plainly similar to having tantrums I suppose. I wanted to take my sight of my husband. And I mean HATING him.. for talking to me.. for helping me get the shell out of the hard boiled egg I had for breakfast.. for trying to open the comfort room door which I intended to lock... for EVERYTHING! I just hate him!!!! HATE HIM!!! GRRRR!!!

You might be laughing and all, but really - that's how I felt. And I kept on crying feeling that he is just so insensitive. (I suppose ALL men are AT TIMES?!) hahaha.. That's my rule. DO NOT ARGUE WITH THE PREGNANT WOMAN. You'll still loose. (Well, you're left with no choice.)

The people with us in the house were laughing at us. It seemed to them that we were just having a petty fight probably because of these damn hormones. :) MAYBE. Who cares?! You let loose when you're mad, and that's a good feeling. hahaha

I won't be saying much already before I get into the mood of hating HIM!!! ahhahahhahaah

Good Night guys!

Im SICK.. :'(

Most say I'm lucky for not having the early symptoms of pregnancy - morning sickness (which does not literally mean that it occurs in the morning!) BUT I say I am not. Missing the vomiting stage during my first term is a good thing. But the acute gastritis is NOT!

sharp, sudden, persistent stomach pain PLUS vomitting.

I happen to wake up at around eleven in the morning and unluckily having "ginataang gulay" (a vegetable soup with coconut -.) Without me knowing, I was taking in the very acidic coconut milk with an empty stomach. Minutes after that I was starting to have stomach aches. I did went off to work that day during the afternoon but I couldn't suppress the pain that continuously occurs at an interval of about 15 minutes. What's weird is that after the sharp sudden pain, you'll feel relieved like nothing happened. And it happens again. And again. AND AGAIN.

We had to go consult a doctor before my condition becomes worse. What we were worried about really is the baby that probably might be the one causing the pain or what. I was glad to find no out-of-the-ordinary discharge that pregnant women have because that indicates that there is really something wrong with the baby. Most especially when it's blood or discharges having a foul smell.

After enlightening the doctor of what happened earlier that resulted to this, she assumed that there is a great possibility that the "ginataan" was the one that caused such pain. She prescribed medicines that would relieve the pain I'm feeling and control the acidity of my stomach.

I had to take in a few bites of wheat bread before taking a second dose of the medication. And the vomiting started. It felt like it burned my throat! And we really felt the need to go back to our OB-Gyne. She referred us to a Gastro-Endomologist back at another hospital to have myself checked. She did ECG only to find out that heartburn is just the result caused by the acids in the stomach. She also checked my upper abdomen through ultrasound to further draw the line on what's causing this sharp pain. Thank God the results were okay, if not for the polyps inside my gall bladder. It could be brought about by pregnancy though or it may continue growing and develop into a gall stone. I hope its the previous one.

So ladies, be careful on what you choose to eat.

The Truth behind what's Missing

What's missing? The monthly period I have. (And it's going to be gone for quite some time.. :( )

We have finally decided to go see a doctor to make sure the baby is in good condition. What I was dying to ask her is "How could I possibly be pregnant?"

Let's start with the ovulation process of a woman.. The counting starts from the first day of menstruation. Ten days after that are your your safe days which means you are not most likely to get pregnant. So if you are having your period for a week, that leaves you with 3 safe days. Most women think that the counting starts with the last day of the period. That's the worry there if you happen to have a longer span of menstruation. You might end up finding yourself pregnant.

That's how it went and I just said to myself, "There goes the MATH." :)

HOW TO TAKE A PREGNANCY TEST

I'm hesitant to stick with the result. (Or if you would like to call it in denial.. Well, I AM. Okay?)

So here's how to do it if you're one in denial soon-to-be-a-mother like me.

You should use midstream urine which means you should pee a little first before you start holding the test stick in your urine stream or use a small container or a cup.

Directions actually vary with the different kinds of HPT available in drugstores.Most of these HPTs have labels C and T. C for control which tells you if you have performed the test correctly. And T for test which actually gives you the positive or the negative result.

The HPTs I've used gives a line for results (haven't encountered the one with the plus results, though.) The fact here is that no matter how faint the line there is by the T label on the results window, that definitely is a positive result. You should rather read results by the time written on the instruction area of the PT otherwise, there could be varied changes due to evaporation.

So that's about it.. Feel free to ask me if you have questions...

Finding out

Don't ask the question if you don't want to know the answer.. But I somehow wanted to make sure.. Even if I find it normal to be delayed for two weeks but more than that makes me worry much already.

And so I finally had the courage to take a pregnancy test.

I really felt my heart thumping while seeing the result window of the pregnancy test.. That's one red line.. And oh, the other red line. And two of it makes it positive. I said to myself, "Another try won't hurt. Maybe this is one of those they call as defective or non reliable result that you should perform another test.

Took it once. Twice. Thrice... POSITIVE POSITIVE POSITIVE!!! Can't seem to imagine how a "positive" could be so "negative" to me.. (Get my point?)

Well, what I didn't know then was that the indicator parts of the pregnancey tests really mean a lot. (Why would they place them there for nothing, right?) The hormone hCG is produced in pregnancy. It stands for human chorionic gonadotropin. This is produced by the placenta right after the embryo is being implanted into the uterine lining. Thus, resulting to the creation of the HPT or the Home Pregnancy Test which determines the level of hCG in the woman's urine. Research tells us that it is possible to have a 97 percent screening sensibilty by taking a home pregnancy test by one week after the first day of the missed period.

So basically, I was a good candidate for a woman possibly to be pregnant since I'm 2 weeks delayed AND I had like 4 HPTs taken already...

It's crystal-clear, its Positive.

My monthly visitor?

MISSING A PERIOD

Most women would want to get rid of having monthly periods to spare them the feeling of uneasiness, not to mention the mood swings and us being irritable.

But I just missed mine and I so want it back! If you were in my case you'd probably pray for it to come already, drink beer, do streinous excercises and just about anything you could think of.. I'm that desperate! It's the only moment in my entire life that I so want to see that red stain on my underwear.. haha.. yeah, really..

And the only fear that strikes you is the question, "Do I happen to be pregnant?"

I'm Pregnant......HELP!

Ok so I'm pregnant..I was like...What should I do? How do I deal with this? Will this be painful?..Those are just a couple of questions that swarmed me the moment I knew it. Watch out for my posts on how I go about my first pregnancy. (I could use all the help I can get you know)